Your wife wants space! How to handle this compassionately

The day a man gets married, he does it with all his heart and the best intentions. It would be hard to find a recently married man who would say that he doesn’t think his marriage will last. People simply don’t walk down the aisle and make an emotional commitment if they don’t believe their union is going to satisfy them for a lifetime. That is why it is sometimes devastating for a man when he realizes that his wife is no longer as committed to marriage as she once was. He may panic, he may instantly assume that she is considering a divorce, and he may do or say things that impact his basic relationship in a very negative way. It is important for any man in this position to understand that all marriages have a sense of ebb and flow. Relationships are fluid, and the dynamics shared by a couple will change as their life goals change. How you handle this will determine if the marriage can find a positive place again or if the end will eventually be inevitable.

Determine what your wife is missing from the relationship

Before a man can embark on a course to remedy his fragmented marriage, he needs to identify where the problem lies. He may think he understands how her wife feels, but unless he talks to her about her faltering marriage, he won’t know for sure. His wife may not be as willing to engage in an honest conversation about her concerns, but he should make it clear to her that her marriage is her number one priority and that he is willing to work with her. to solve the problem. .

Ask her in a very calm and compassionate way why she feels the space is necessary for her at this time. You must be prepared for his response. Some women feel the need for space because her husband practically ignores them when he comes home from work each day. Other women simply miss the romance that once was and has now been replaced by a sense of anticipation and boredom.

When your wife tells you why she feels the need to distance yourself, be prepared to be hurt in an emotional sense. However, you need to view that pain from a place of positivity. Instead of thinking about what your wife is not happy about with you and the marriage, focus more on what you can do now to fix the problems. Knowledge is really the key to dealing with a wife who is no longer satisfied within the marriage.

Reinvent the connection you and your wife once shared

It’s impossible to go back in time, but there are many things a man can do to recreate the connection that once existed between him and his wife. Their lives have obviously changed in many ways since they walked down the aisle and exchanged wedding vows. The devotion and commitment you have for each other doesn’t have to be one of those things.

You may have already considered the idea of ​​dating your wife. Many men think this idea is a silly and unnecessary effort because the courtship stopped when the wedding took place. It should not be like that. No doubt her wife will be surprised if she suggests the idea of ​​a date-like night out, but encourage her to go along with it.

Another great approach a married man can take if his wife is considering taking time out of marriage is to suggest a weekend just for the two of them. At first, this may seem awkward if his wife has one foot out the door, but it can actually be a wonderful way to regenerate a dying marriage. If the two of you haven’t taken the time to focus only on each other for a long time, now is the ideal time to do so.

If your wife argues that she wants less time with you, instead of more, ask her to consider it a last favor. Even if she reluctantly agrees, the time off and the chance to reconnect as a couple may be the turning point for her. It is possible that she will return from her excursion just as committed to the marriage as you are.

Seriously consider your wife’s needs

Some women who are unhappy within their marriage are convinced that some space is exactly what they need to assess where their lives are headed. This is a terrifying proposition for a man who truly loves her wife and only wants a future with her.

However, you cannot deny what your wife wants and if you continually try, she will become increasingly discontent and eventually decide to pack up and leave anyway. You must listen to her and acknowledge what she feels and that means acceptance.

If she’s determined to break up in an effort to gain some space from you, make sure you have an agreement for when that happens. If she intends to save the marriage, it may be wise for her to agree to a short-term trial separation with the stipulation that she attend couples therapy with you. That way, both of you will work on the marriage even if you don’t currently live together.

It is very difficult to see any positive benefit from a separation, but there are some. His wife may realize, once she is gone, that being alone is not what she wants at all. In life, we sometimes believe that things will be noticeably better if we make a change, only to realize we’re wrong once we’ve taken the plunge. Also, having a break from your marriage will put the spotlight squarely on the issues that have driven the two of you apart. It is an ideal opportunity for the two of you to talk to them in an honest, open and productive way.