Parenting Made Easy – Three Ideas for Better Parenting

Parenting is hard, so parents need to understand limits, discipline, and freedom for themselves and their children.

When it comes to most jobs, people are thoroughly screened and then meticulously trained. However, when starting parenthood, there are few guidelines to follow. This leaves most parents expecting great things and then dealing with reality. Instead of feeling overwhelmed by the realities of parenting, it is possible to become more effective by understanding three simple ideas.

1. Understand the limits. When it comes to rules, most parents are on one extreme or the other. However, effective limits are not about countless rules, but about established limits. The fact is that children crave limits. They feel more secure knowing that there are set guidelines and are more likely to thrive if they have limits to follow. The trick to setting effective boundaries is to choose the ones that matter most. Parents can’t enforce a complete list of rules, but they can keep a short list of manageable behavior limits. This could include behavior in public, respect for authority, and how to communicate with others. Choose boundaries that promote safety, respect, and growth, but always remember that you must also be able to stick to boundaries.

2. Understand discipline. When boundaries are violated, there has to be a consequence. This is the role of discipline. Too often, parents confuse discipline with punishment. While some discipline will lead to punishment, that’s not all discipline. Discipline is about redirecting children to the correct limits. Because of this, discipline can be varied and unique to each child. Parents should develop consistent discipline patterns that correct a child each time a limit has been breached. This discipline must be age appropriate and commensurate with the nature of the offense. The purpose of discipline should always be to teach the child. Punishment has limited long-term effects, but discipline can effectively shape a child’s behavior in a more positive way.

3.Understand freedom. While children need limits, they also need freedom. It is a difficult but important dichotomy to understand. Boundaries must be set to keep children safe, but sometimes children need space. They need to make their own decisions, and these decisions can lead to success or failure. This freedom gives children the self-esteem they need to grow up healthy, and also allows them the ability to define themselves and discover their preferences. Sometimes parents want to control all aspects of life to protect and guide their children, but development is necessarily messy. Children will learn more from their mistakes than from their successes. Therefore, parents should always provide the necessary freedom within limits for children to thrive.

These three simple ideas are at the heart of what good parenting is all about. No one has it all figured out, but these three simple ideas are a good starting point.