Just For Widows: 6 Ways To Have A Happier New Year
Happy new year! Yes I know. Are you thinking what’s wrong with this writer? Life sucks without him by your side. How dare you use the H word and wish me a Happy New Year?
Well I feel your pain. I really do, because I am also a widow. But I’m here to tell you that everything will be fine. No, it won’t be like before He left. But yes, you can and will go through 2007 with a smile.
Here are 6 ways to have a happy new year:
Control your tears.
Take a deep breath. Every time you feel a tear attack, prick your eyeball, take a step back. Inhale. Exhale.
A deep breath will help you relax. It will remind you to focus. And it will help you regain your self-control.
Reduce stress
Take a notebook. start today.
No notebook? Bring 3×5 tiles. And don’t forget a pen. I had one of those too. Every time he feels pressured, he writes down his feelings. Taking the time to write down what’s bothering you when it’s happening will create a personal break—for you! What better way to reduce stress? Later, when you sit quietly going over your notes over a cup of tea at the diner around the corner, you’ll be better able to identify the things that bother you the most. Think about walking in the park. When you know how to avoid that shiny, itchy 3-leafed plant, you enjoy your outing.
create a family
Do you have family? I sure hope so. Having a healthy and happy family support system is essential to healing a broken heart. Alright. You say that all you have is a runny little dog and his little cat. Well thassamifamilyee2!
Write a schedule for the people and/or creatures that make up your family. Setting aside time to have breakfast with your daughter before she leaves for work is a start. Mark time for your sound. Invite him to dinner. But be sure to write it down, in case the winter weather changes from rain to sleet and snow.
Remind yourself: be flexible, be prepared to change plans.
Schedule a time to walk the dog. Write it down in your personal calendar box as a reminder. Be sure to leash the dog, put on the collar and leash, and zip up the jacket. Then head out the door and follow that four-legged furball around the block twice.
Keep up the good work.
And be sure to congratulate yourself. Remember that you are your best friend. Take time to make time especially for yourself. Check a box to pamper yourself. Fill your bathtub with chocolate kisses *hey, just to see if you’re still reading* light two candles, one for you, one for Him. Then sink under the foam with a good book.
Prevent complaint attacks
I’m sorry. There is nothing a widow can do to prevent a tort attack. You know those lazy flashbacks that flood our brain when we least expect it? Like death and taxes, flashbacks are here to stay. But if you give yourself permission to feel sad, to feel ugly, to feel pain, it will make the situation feel less threatening and help you get back to living your life, at least for the rest of the day.
eat healthy food
Widows love chocolate. Widows love ice cream. Widows love whipped cream, heavy cream and Oreo cookies, chips, dips and frozen donuts with rainbow sprinkles. When there’s no one to answer to, no one to cook for, no one to love us, it’s easy to fall into bad habits. So stay alert, be strong, remember. don’t. Be your own best friend. Help yourself to a healthy salad, a grilled salmon fillet, a leafy vegetable at least once a week. Save the carbs, the sweets, as your reward for going another year without Him by your side to tell you that you look great in that sexy red dress and 2″ high heels.
take ten
Take ten minutes every day to write an entry in your JOY-nal. Write something about him. Write something to him. Maybe write something for Him. But do it. Mark your calendar. Check your watch battery. Then open your Joy-nal. Finger hug your pen. And go.
I know it’s hard to live life without Him around to tell you how wonderfully important you really are. But believe me, you really are. And if you follow my 6 Ways to Have a Happy New Year outlined above, you’ll feel it too. I promise.