with or without glory

A story of four friends: Subinun, Suhada, Sugali and Suaman

Subinun is sitting on the porch of his house. He is looking at the grass and the old banyan tree shedding leaves. He sighs. His destiny is no different from theirs; trampled and ignored. He closes his eyes and remembers the past, when the Dutch entered Jogja. Resistance broke out throughout the city. He took up arms against the invaders who killed his parents and relatives. For Subinun, life is nothing without freedom.

The republic was finally getting its independence and Subinun was lucky to be alive. The unfortunate Suhada, his friend, was killed in a fight. He wanted to die as a martyr. Subinun would rather live than die, even as a martyr. Dying is not necessarily at the tip of the bullet. He wanted to feel the results of his fight against death.

Unlike the scoundrel Sugali, another friend of his, who now held the rank of military general. He used to ask people for money by force. He struggled to appear brave in front of his countrywoman.

Sugali now became close friends with Suaman, a merchant who was so afraid that Sugali would be forced to give money. Suaman’s business was booming since he got Sugali’s full backing. Compensation is regularly paid as a security guarantee. Suaman never went to fight. He fled the city for safety and started a new business. For Suaman, dying on the battlefield is not an attractive option. Dead is dead. Being in an independent or colonized country was not a big deal to him as long as he could handle his business. In fact, in colonial times the business remained in force.

Subinun opens his eyes. Grass and old banyan tree jump. She is reflecting on whether his decision was correct. If he had only followed his wife to move out of the city and continue trading, he could have been like Suaman as a successful trader. If he weren’t too idealistic to win for himself and the republic, independence probably wouldn’t be sitting alone in a ramshackle house with a terrace. He does not blame the government for not giving him a decent life. The country is massively indebted. Nor can he blame his wife that she walked away from him and married Suaman.

Life is about making decisions.