Make your inner critic pay the rent
I know many people who struggle with meditation. They’ll say something like they’re not interested, they can’t sit still, or they tried and it didn’t work.
It could even be true.
But many people don’t like to come face to face with that voice inside their mind. You know who I mean: the one who whispers horrible things to you about your looks, talents, successes, failures, prospects, and courage to keep breathing.
The kind of things you would never say to another person, not even your worst enemy.
It’s always there, anticipating your mistakes, waiting for the chance to laugh at you.
So if this voice, or the deeper well of anxiety and insecurity it comes from, won’t leave you alone, then it’s time to take control.
But you don’t get control by fighting it.
Think of this inner critic as a neighboring kingdom… with a huge army. Much stronger than yours. If you fight head-on, it will not only not work, but you will give him even more real estate and power.
How would you fight such an adversary?
With kindness and curiosity.
Don’t think of these as soft. It takes a lot of strength to say, in all kindness, “really? I don’t think that’s true, what makes you so sure?”
Especially someone who attacks you, and even if that someone is you.
These can give you control over volume…or maybe your air supply. If you are patient, you can starve.
But you’re right not to want to settle for that.
After all, I bet it’s been bugging you for a long, long time. Getting him out of his home, your head, is too good for him.
About time I made up to you for it.
Why shouldn’t it? Should this worst tenant of all time be allowed to live anywhere without paying rent? Especially some real estate as valuable as his head?
Probably not.
Maybe it’s time you demanded that your inner critic start paying its share. And not just pay rent from now on, either. You owe him a lot of back payments, not to mention all the damages he has to cover.
There is no need to avoid it. Show him mercy, get him in line and put him to work.
Because this voice is creative. He used to have fun making up worst case scenarios for you.
So use that creativity. Make it a best-case scenarios motto in your venue…with a plan to get you there.
And you know it’s persistent, so use it too.
If he wants to keep scrutinizing your life, let him find the ways you’re doing well. Allow him to offer constructive suggestions for improvement.
Heck, you can put the inner critic on a leash and walk around the block if you want.
After all, it is yours. No one else can tell you what to do with it, not even that voice.
Silencing it frees up a surprising amount of mental resources. That alone makes you feel smarter, faster, cleaner, and happier. When you turn those resources into your own needs, you feel even better.