find emotional rest
Find out what your emotions are and do it without judging.
~Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and David Kessler
Particularly in relation to experiences of grief and adjustment, the need to escape the roller coaster emotions heightened from time to time is real. Grief, being a process without a determined path or end point, needs a relief valve of this type: to take a necessary break from the unsustainable load.
But such a break cannot take place unless we are prepared to leave the status quo as it is, even for a short time.
MOMENTS WHEN LIFE NEEDS STABILITY
When we are most prone to weakness in our emotions, perhaps due to grievances or adjustments, however small or insignificant, life is taken simply. Stability and constancy work best.
Times like starting new jobs or establishing new relationships place additional emotional strain on us and this can lead to greater overall toughness.
Finding emotional rest can be as simple as putting one foot in front of the other; just continue life as it is and change as little as possible. Sometimes resistance is just that: moving on. A platform that is as stable as possible helps.
POSTPONEMENT OF IMPORTANT DECISIONS
An extension to find stability is the key task of reducing stress by postponing important decisions and even delaying some decisions that we would like to make and that would be a burden.
There should be no pressure to deal with the pros and cons during difficult times; we do it only if absolutely necessary. Few things in life are really that important, but if they are, we must attend to them as decisively as possible, without thinking about regretting it later.
FORGIVE IRRATIONAL BEHAVIOR
This is the hardest part for many people: protecting themselves from their own judgments.
When our emotions dominate our rational minds, causing rapid mood swings and uncomfortable imbalances in our balance, life is bewildering. We quickly jump into ourselves, punishing the behavior for the benefit of hindsight. There is a mix of regret, guilt, or even shame to deal with.
In difficult times like these, we need to be kinder to ourselves, as the wishes recommend.
Where logic runs amok and we fight the inevitable urge to mend our emotions, the internal struggle between head and heart abounds. It’s a cesspool that only compounds our already elevated stress levels.
When we don’t know where to turn, we are stuck to turn however we can; that, in itself, is a trap. Making decisions without the aid of a calm and orderly mind is a recipe for even greater heartbreak.
PARTICIPATION IN ENJOYABLE ACTIVITIES
Whatever the stressors, they are less important than what we might do for a moment of relief. As the quote above suggests, we should make an effort to relax, as ironic as that sounds, so can enjoy it.
We are certain to want to withdraw from enjoyable activities when we are emotionally susceptible, and therefore we must gently push through the temptations of guilt, judgment, and apathy, etc. We need to act ourselves to think: Yo can enjoy this.
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Finding Emotional Rest is about a space designed for a moment, taken when our emotions have exhausted us. It is agreeing to be kind to ourselves.
© 2012 SJ Wickham.