Are men still objective women? don’t call me baby
“You’ve come a long way, honey…” the TV ad read. In the ’70s, women were told that we could have it all, do it all, be it all. We were told that we could climb the corporate ladder, be a mother, have a successful marriage, and earn as much dollar for dollar as a man could. Now we had “women’s rights.”
Along with those rights came the Pill. sexual freedom. Now we could have sex without so much fear of pregnancy. In fact, we were equal to men. Good? Or do we just make it easy for them to have sex without making any effort?
Along with those rights, we learned phrases like “macho macho pig” and set out to educate men who could no longer objectively see us as women. Singer Helen Reddy sang “I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar.”
We stopped letting men open our doors, pay for our drinks and dinner and insisted we could take home the bacon AND fry it in the pan. In addition to being “equals”, we insist that men NOT see us as women…but as equals. But are we the same, really? And how equal do we want to be? Personally, I’m not interested in being one of the guys. I like being a woman. I like to be feminine. I like it when a man is a real man.
Biologically, we are not equal to men. Men are still snipe and snails and puppy tails, trucks, guns and testosterone, and women are still sugar, spice, everything nice, lip liner and lunch with the girls. Thank God we are not the same. I believe in women’s rights and I also believe that women have the right to be treated with basic human consideration and respect. Men deserve respect too, but personally I can’t respect a man who doesn’t respect me. Is it any wonder why so many women complain to me and to each other because they don’t feel respected by men?
How far have we really come since the 1970s? We’ll see….
Women still earn less than a man doing the same amount of work. Now we work outside the home, we come home exhausted and we work inside the house taking care of the children and our husband. If a husband and wife divorce, their lifestyle decreases by 45% and increases by 15%.
The men of the “future,” meaning TODAY, were supposed to be caring guys who were products of “an enlightened age” sensitized to our situation as women. Of the men who, although they no longer opened the doors for us, paid us the way, respected us as women, revered us as mothers and wives and girlfriends, it was still expected that they would NOT OBJECTIVE OR LACK RESPECT.
Well guess what? Many of the men who are supposed to be the products of the moms and dads of the 70’s…the so-called “enlightened men” still objectify women.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I get a text or email from a guy I don’t know and have never met who calls me “baby.”
The following is a small example of the types of emails I receive from complete strangers:
“Hey babe. Contact me and let’s talk.” “Hey, sexy. Do you want to talk, babe?” “Hey babe. Let me know if you want to connect. Is that okay babe?”
Hello? I have a name AND IT’S NOT BABY. I loved the movie, but I’m not a talking pig, a famous baseball player, or a female multi-sport phenom (although she used to play quite a bit of soccer and basketball). We haven’t met. Please don’t think you can be THAT familiar with me. Let me say this to all the guys who call me “Babe”… “Hey babe. When you can email me and have something to say, it’s a better ice breaker than ‘want to connect with me and see what happens?’ then let me know. If you’re too spoiled, lazy, or too cheap to have a cup of coffee or have so poor social skills that you think I’m going to go crazy to respond to you based on your one-sentence courtship of me, you’ve got something else coming up. If you’re thinking “wanna chat?” is your best A-game, move on.
I’m not playing in that game with you. I am NOT a low hanging fruit. I am a confident woman with a lot to give someone, and I don’t mean just sexually. I am not some old, desperate, stupid, gullible woman who confuses objectification with respectful, genuine interest. I’ve been around long enough to know when I’m being disrespected. I’m not desperate for sex, but I bet you are and that’s why you’re sending 60 emails at once to women hoping the numbers game pays off. I’m not a set of tits. I’m not a pair of legacies. I’m not YOUR hot babe.
I am a mature, well-read, well-educated, self-respecting woman with high self-esteem and high self-concept who is not going to spend an ounce of my effort on ANY man who objects and talks to me like I’m a free whore. I have helped people die and have been in the room when they died. I’ve been through hurricanes. I have perspective in life that you won’t get for another 20-30 years IF THAT. I won’t let anyone trivialize my existence by calling me ‘Babe’ and texting me a booty call when you and I haven’t even talked on the phone, seen eye to eye or broken bread together… Let me repeat this just to be clear: I’m not a low hanging fruit for you to walk around, pick up from the ground, use and throw away.”
So are men still objective women? From what I’m reading on the internet in recent studies, yes. (April 1, 2009 LifeSiteNews.com) — Psychology researchers at Stanford and Princeton universities have discovered that images of semi-nude women can lead men to view them as objects. A lead researcher on the project said: “What the brain scans show is that they are reacting to this photograph like people react to objects. It’s like they’re not fully human.”
Why does this continue in 2009 with almost 40 years of “equality” between men and women? Well, one reason is because women allow it. We let men get away with it. Maybe we don’t value ourselves, so why should we expect a man to value us? Perhaps we overlook this familiar term because it’s not worth getting upset about. And maybe after hearing it for the thousandth time, we’ll hit a breaking point and finally decide to draw a line, because it signals the start of a downhill slide with a man. One reason is because with pornography so readily available on the Internet, men look at two-dimensional representations of women and sexualize what they see. They transfer this sexualization to real three-dimensional women and treat them accordingly. One of the reasons is because while their mothers were climbing the corporate ladder, there was no one home TEACHING these young men how to respect women. One of the reasons is due to the divorce, the father no longer lives at home and perhaps the father berates the mother in front of the sons.
If you think that just because you’re young and sexy and that’s enough, God bless you. If you don’t change that thinking, you will become the very old man that we women are tired of meeting and dating.