4 Things A Trainer Will Do For You (& 4 Things They Shouldn’t)

what to expect

1. Achievement

First, a coach must help you achieve what you want to achieve. In the Harvard Business Review article on executive coaches, Ram Charan says that they will help you “understand how to act.” This is true for a personal trainer of any level, in whatever field he is operating in, because it is through understanding how to act that he sees the clear path to his goal and can continue to achieve it.

How they do it will be different depending on you, the trainer, and what you’re looking for. It can be to clarify goal setting, helping you break things down into bite-sized pieces so you can see more and faster results to keep you motivated. Alternatively, it could be to bring you to your realistic senses to make your goals more manageable for the circumstances you find yourself in. It might even result in you evaluating who you are and what resources you need before you hit the road.

The tools they use for that will also vary. However, expect any coach to ask deep, probing questions that get to the heart of the matter quickly; they will challenge you and make you think, process and make decisions about what you want. Other aspects of the methods they use to get results should be clearly explained if you ask. If not, ask yourself why not.

2. Improvement

Next, a coach can help you change your view of the world or your view of yourself to something that is more resourceful and allows you to perform in a better way. Sometimes our predictions about our own poor performance, negative thoughts about ourselves or other people’s interventions in our lives, or looking a little squint at things will prevent us from getting the results we want. I have a friend who regularly sets herself up for poor performance so that she never has to deal with the failure of disappointment. A coach can change that. Again, there are a variety of tools, with NLP-related techniques being key in this area of ​​altering your brain’s processing patterns (if the initials got you wrong, ask your trainer to explain them). I agree with Michael Maccoby (again quoted in the HBR article) who says that a coach should leave you ‘more competent and confident’.

3.Responsibility

Sometimes all you need from a coach is some accountability. You know what you have to do, but you put it off because it’s not essential, you don’t have enough self-discipline for something that’s a bit difficult, or nobody really expects results because it’s purely an improvement in your own private life. Having a coach challenge you and check to see if you’ve completed the goals you set for yourself is often all the extra push you need to get there.

4. Listen

Finally, a coach will listen to you. It is another of the key skills of a good coach, such as questioning. Sometimes this is the only skill you need from them because you find that speaking words out loud causes you to process internally in a way. To say it you need to own it, so a decision has already been made in your head. Other times, when you get the words out, you somehow realize the absurdity of them and change your mind because of it.

See the possibilities

However, all this hardly suggests what it can be like after working with a trainer. Positive changes in you and your power properly harnessed and put to work can do great things that usually have to be experienced on a personal level to be understood. If you’re still in doubt about what’s possible, listen to some people who have experienced it for themselves. Most trainers will have a section on their websites for testimonials or what others are saying. Read through them, and even with a pinch of salt to counter the self-promotional nature of the page, you’ll see some of the possible results.

what not to expect

There are some things you might expect from a coach that I hope they won’t do for you. In some cases it would be inadvisable to expect them to do so and in others it would border on fraudulent for a coach to offer.

1. Therapy

Coaching focuses on the future, not the past. While there are some training techniques, particularly within NLP, that can help you overcome obstacles from the past, if you need to actively deal with something then you need a therapist. Now, it’s fair to say that some trainers will also be qualified as therapists of some sort, so they might be capable and well qualified to do both. If you think you need the services of a therapist, be careful who you hire. Conversely, if your trainer strays down a therapy line, ask him to explain and if you feel uncomfortable, stop him.

2. Getting what you don’t want

This leads to the second thing they shouldn’t do, which is anything you don’t want them to do. Coaching is about helping you get to where you want to be. If you don’t want to go where they take you, say so. If they explain it as a means to an end (hopefully they’ll understand your own processes and know how to help you get to your destination), then it might be viable, but as a buyer of the service, you should be happy with what you’re getting.

3. Tips

If a coach gives feedback, I would expect the preface to say, “Is it okay if I give you some feedback?” or similar words. Coaching tends to be non-directive in its very nature. You may choose to hire a coach who has been through experiences similar to yours, but still don’t expect them to advise you. For that you should try a consultant, trainer or mentor. A coach aims to help you make the most of the resources you already have, and if you are offered new ones, it should be made clear that this is a different process than the coaching conversation. Their role is not primarily to give you advice.

4. Someone to do it for you

A coach will help you push yourself to get the results you want. They will provide help and assistance along the way, but essentially they are facilitators, not doers. If you want someone to do things for you, stop being about personal growth and achievement and instead just about getting things done. This is good; just hire someone who isn’t a trainer.

Summary

A coach will listen to you, challenge you, and help you be accountable. They will help you better achieve your goals and possibly improve the way you deal with the world. What’s not to like?