New book shares the journey of love and loss of mother

Patricia Fitzmaurice’s new book, The Blue Camaro, is a memoir on raising, loving, and ultimately losing your child. In 2013, his son John Fitzmaurice, Jr. took his own life. Now, at eighty-seven years old, Patricia is fulfilling the promise she made to her son to tell her story so that others understand what it is like to lose a child to suicide and what her journey that led to that decision must have been like. .

The Blue Camaro doesn’t offer easy answers because there aren’t any. To this day, Patricia still wonders what caused her son to commit suicide. She documents in this book John’s childhood story, including his family’s many moves to various locations from Pennsylvania to Connecticut to Florida, the birth of his sisters, his love for his dog, his difficulty making friends, his efforts business from a young age. age, and how he saved money to buy his first car: a Blue Camaro.

The title of the book reflects what may have been the happiest moment in John’s life. His new car was a prized possession for him when he was young, and it also made him popular. For the first time, John seemed really happy. If only things could have stayed that way.

But John grew up, married and divorced. He raised two daughters, but he always seemed lost. Sometimes his relationship with his mother was distant. Patricia didn’t understand why he wasn’t letting her in. He even had to wait a year before meeting his first grandson. She went out of her way to love and support him without pressuring him or meddling in his personal affairs. At times, Patricia had to help John financially, providing him with a place to live. At other times, she rejoiced when he seemed to be prospering and happy.

In addition to telling John’s story, Patricia shares her grief when she lost John. She continues to struggle to understand how he could have reached the point of self-destruction, and what it must have been like for him to be so unhappy that he had to find a way out. She offers poignant words to the reader on how to move on after the tragedy, acknowledging that even now, the pain is still there for her and will never completely go away.

The Blue Camaro concludes with an interview with the author. John’s three sisters also share their memories of the brother they loved and will always miss.

Anyone who has lost a child, especially by suicide, will find a kindred spirit in Patricia. Like I said, you may not find answers in this book, but you will feel supportive knowing that someone else understands what you are going through. In Patricia’s courage to carry on after the loss of her son and in her desire to talk about what suicide does to a family, she may find comfort, strength, and even purpose.