5 ways to stay positive during the dating process
After briefly discussing the importance of staying positive about dating in a previous article; one reader commented that while it would probably be much easier for younger women to stay positive when trying to attract a man, for someone their age, being positive was much more challenging.
Of course, when we are younger, we tend to be more idealistic and resilient. We have no problem throwing caution to the wind, hoping for the best because we don’t have a personal point of reference. It’s not until we’ve experienced the sting of unrequited love for ourselves that the reality of cultivating a long-term commitment can be more challenging than we originally thought.
Being a woman in her 40s, I can definitely appreciate the challenges of getting back on the horse, so to speak.
So how can you stay positive during the dating process, especially after an unpleasant, and for many of us, several past unpleasant relationship experiences? If disappointment from previous relationships has left you jaded with dating, the following 5 tips may be just what you need to feel more positive about dating again.
1. See your past relationships as learning experiences: Because many women do not learn the lessons that past relationships have come into their lives to teach them, they find themselves constantly attracting the same types of men and participating in the same or similar situations. unhealthy or toxic scenarios. As the old adage goes, if you keep doing what you’ve been doing, you’ll keep getting what you’ve been getting. Ask yourself, what lesson was I supposed to learn from my previous involutions? Doing this will give you an idea of what you need differently when dating someone.
2. Don’t project qualities and characteristics onto someone you don’t even know yet – Be careful not to try to turn someone into someone who is not to justify your relationship with him. This is a sure way to prepare for disappointment. Staying objective as you meet someone allows you not only to see and accept them for who they are, but it will also allow you to be honest with yourself about the potential for a more serious relationship.
3. Have a dating strategy: socializing and networking is not enough. To be successful, you must have a plan of action. Setting limits, controlling your pace, and determining the factors that break the deal will make you more confident and feel more empowered.
4. Have realistic expectations about the dating process – The truth is, your knight in shining armor is not going to ride his white-haired mare and it will make you lose your mind (well, not in this day and age anyway). The reality is that you can end up dating multiple men before your prince arrives. In the meantime, learn to let go and live in the moment. Enjoy the process of meeting men while dating. Realize that every date is not always intended to become a lifetime commitment and that some relationships are entering your life to prepare you for “Mr. Right.”
5. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket – Many women are so eager to get into a relationship so quickly that they often skip the selection process. This causes women not only to put all their eggs in one basket when it comes to men, they often end up putting all their eggs in one basket that is often frayed and full of holes!
Feeling too attached to a guy in the dating process can create feelings of despair that, in turn, often cause you to commit in unhealthy ways to maintain a relationship. Keep in mind that you don’t have to settle for a guy who is convenient or because he has shown some interest in you.
Approaching the dating process from an empowered perspective will give you confidence, which is a great way to not only stay positive, but also allow you to be objective and realistic as you navigate the dating maze.